A half boiled plan
by Saiph Nebula
Summary: Not a great title, I'll admit. But inside there is wit, and humour, and a situation Meryl, Mei Ling, Snake and Otacon probably never saw coming at the end of MGS1... Rated T for adult themes. Written for mgs clichefic challange: stripper/hookerfic.


_Written for the mgs_clichefic challange. A dorky, fluffy piece of fun. Disclaimer: All rights to Konami._

* * *

Meryl stood with her back to the full-length mirror, her arms crossed tightly over her stomach. "I don't see why _we_ have to do this," she griped to the woman next to her, "couldn't we just... hire a professional, just this once?"

"Would you trust a hooker with something like this?" Mei Ling replied bleakly, applying a thick coat of golden gloss to her lips, "This is the best, and quickest, way to do this. So let's just get it over with."

Meryl exhaled loudly through her nose, knowing it wasn't Mei Ling's fault that she was standing near-naked in a hotel bathroom, her feet already beginning to ache from the heels she'd forced her feet into. Her companion smiled as encouragingly as she could, whipping out her eye-liner and a cherry red lipstick.

"Think of it as girl-y bonding time for now! Don't think about the fact that in an hour we'll be..."

"Dancing around in our underwear for a complete pervert." Meryl finished unhappily for her.

Mei Ling's smile slipped into a frown, "Well, when you put it _that_ way..."

Meryl grimaced. She knew she was making the situation worse then it needed to be. After all, all she and Mei Ling had to do was distract their... client... long enough for one of them to check his belongings for a disc holding what was possibly valuable information for Philanthropy to use in the future. It was the fact that they had no idea if this information was in fact useful or not that made Meryl accept the job so begrudgingly. If she had to put herself through all this, only to find it was a for nothing...

Next time they'd just stick a wig on the boys and hope the client was sloshed enough not to notice anything unusual.

She snapped up the eye-liner before she could talk herself out of her ridiculous charade and turned to face the mirror, wrinkling her nose at what she saw standing there. To her, she looked just like what she was - a slightly buff eighteen year old girl with pale skin and one too many bruises. Mei Ling had picked out a dark red corset which covered the marks and scars on her body, and effectively pushed up what little breasts Meryl had. Eyeing them in the mirror, she had to admit that having cleavage was a nice change. She did not, however, love the idea of wandering around in a pair of knickers that could barely be said to exist! And attached to the bottom of her corset were a pair of black stockings that disappeared into three inch red heels she'd actually had to spend two days practising her ability to walk in!

For herself Mei Ling had chosen a black, body length lace gown that split down the middle from her abdomen. The only parts that you couldn't see straight through were the cups over her breasts. Coupled with a pair of heels that remained on her feet thanks to thin silk laces wrapped around her feet and lower legs and her hair tied in a messy knot on top of her head, Mei Ling looked like some kind of oriental princess... a kinky one, perhaps, but still gorgeous. Meryl couldn't help but notice the difference between herself, the 'wanna-be solider girl', and Mei Ling – whose slightly older body was a creamy, blemish-free white.

She ground her teeth and forced herself to pay attention, knowing she'd only stab her eyes out if she wasn't concentrating with the sharpened pencil. Off the top of her head she could think of several ways to kill a person with the damned thing, but for the life of her she had no idea how to apply it without looking like she had two black eyes!

Mei Ling must have noticed her shaking hand since she gently took the offending item from Meryl's fist and placed her hand beneath the slightly younger girl's chin. "Here, let me."

Meryl's shoulders slumped, relieved. "Thanks..."

Mei Ling worked quickly and effortlessly. Her brow creased in a small line as she concentrated on softening the lines around Meryl's eyes. She placed the pencil back in the bag which was settled in the sink and picked up the mascara, pulling free the thick looking brush.

"How do girls not blind themselves with those things?" Meryl wondered out loud.

Mei Ling laughed, "I almost have a couple of times. You get used to it. It's all about practice."

"If you say so," Meryl muttered, unconvinced, "I'll just end up looking like a circus freak."

"Not if I have something to say about it!" Mei Ling exclaimed with a huge smile, "Trust me."

It didn't seem to Meryl like she had much choice as Mei Ling quickly got to work with all sorts of brushes and liquids that were smeared around her eyes and mouth. She'd received a sharp smack on her thigh when she'd licked her lips, tasting the fruity gloss that had just been meticulously applied there. It didn't taste quite so good on her tongue, which made her heart start pounding as she began to wonder if she'd be expected to kiss the guy due to walk through the door in under half and hour...

"There! All done!" Mei Ling eventually exclaimed with a flourish, turning Meryl to face the mirror as she tried to escape before she was forced to look at how ridiculous she probably-

"Oh!" she gasped, stunned as she stared into the wide, alert eyes of a stranger. They looked... really green. Sparkly even. "How'd you do that?"

"You have beautiful eyes Meryl, I just brought them out a little!" Mei Ling winked, zipping up the bag triumphantly.

A sudden pounding on the door made them both jump before Snake's muffled voice called to them.

"Are you two done yet? He's due in twenty minutes!"

"Almost!" Mei Ling called back.

"Come in here and _die_!" Meryl added.

She heard a snort beside her, and shot her partner-in-crime a wary look. "I don't want _them_ to see me like _this_. I have to work with them, hell, I live with them!" she hissed, growing worried as Mei Ling's expression turned from amused to thoughtful.

"Have you ever... done anything like this?" she asked.

Meryl blinked at her, "What? Impersonated a stripper? Oh yeah, it was a regular training exercise back on base."

Mei Ling rolled her eyes at the sarcasm in her tone. "No, I mean... _romantically_?"

"Oh," Meryl realised what she meant, especially when her gold-lined eyes darted towards the door. "No... no, not... never anything but... over the top of the clothes. Have you?"

Shimmering lips twitched tellingly. "Not like _this_," she shrugged, motioning her dress, "but I've had my experiences. Perhaps... listen, wait here a moment. I need to get something that'll help you."

She was gone before Meryl couldn't utter a peep, sliding out of the door like a cat on the prowl. Meryl heard Otacon's voice as he stammered something she couldn't quite make out. Breathing deeply, she turned to the mirror, deciding to get a proper look at herself before Mei Ling came back.

She cocked her head slightly to the side, making the tight curls in her hair hang freely beside her cheek. She remembered having something sweet smelling sprayed over them, and suddenly noticed how each curl seemed to shine in the dull bathroom light. Her mouth seemed larger and slightly wet, no longer looking chapped from her bad habit of lip-chewing. She supposed she really didn't look _too_ bad... with her tattoo gone and any marks on her arms and legs covered with concealer, she really did resemble a normal eighteen year old girl...

A cough sounded behind her, too deep to have come from a tiny Chinese girl...

Meryl spun on the spot, her eyes wide as she took in Snake's surprised expression. Realising just how much of her body was on display she turned back round to face the mirror, only to realise it was pointless as Snake could still her reflection. Dammit, there was nowhere she could _hide_...

"Mei Ling said you needed my help," he began doubtfully, his voice husky with something other then smoker's throat.

Meryl froze, carefully avoiding Snake's gaze in the mirror. If she'd bothered to look she'd have known that Snake's attention was not at her eye line.

"I, er... no."

Her eyes were drawn to the mirror when she noticed his shape drawing a little closer. Her skin seemed to burn as she suddenly felt a great wave of vertigo over take her, not a second after she'd realised she wasn't breathing...

She stumbled forward, her feet useless in her heels and her head making a sure line for the edge of the mirror-

"Gotcha!" Snake grunted, grabbing her around the waist quickly. "Hell, how tight is this thing? Can't you even breathe?"

Meryl swallowed two, three times before she realised her tongue felt too big for her mouth. She had the strangest tingles running the length of her body. Disjointed memories from her psychotherapy whirled in her mind before she finally took in a deep breath, feeling something stir in her stomach.

"I feel... sick!" she panted, both her hands clutching at the pair tightly wound around her midriff. Her vision was so hazy...

"Meryl! Oh hell... _breathe_ okay! In, out, in, out... count backwards from ten... I sound like a damn mid-wife!"

Snake's voice seemed to echo down to her as if she were at the end of a long tunnel. In the mirror she caught sight of him, his eyes wide with concern... what was wrong? She was just sick with nerves.

Then she realised, her chest was rising and falling a little too fast, as if she were gasping for air.

"How do I get this damn thing off?" Snake muttered, wondering why women had to go and wear complicated clothing that took an age to escape from. Eventually he found the line of tight nots down her back and pulled them as loose as he could without taking the top off completely.

Meryl, oblivious to his struggle, was limp in his arms with her eyes tightly closed. She forced herself to calm down, to breathe in through her nose and out from her mouth for eight seconds each time. After a minute or so, she cracked one eye open and attempted to place her weight back on her own feet.

"I'm okay now," she told him a little hoarsely. "I think... I could really use some air. Or some booze, do we have booze?"

Snake shook his head sombrely, carefully letting her rest against the sink, "I think I'm a bad influence on you. And no, I'd have found it if we did."

Meryl nodded, though the motion made her head swim unpleasantly. "That's a shame."

She kept her eyes glued to the floor as her vision slowly returned to normal. Her cheeks flushed as she felt Snake's eyes on her, and she hoped he'd put it down to the dizziness.

She actually jumped when his hand suddenly reached out and cupped her chin.

He looked at her steadily, his voice firm. "You're not doing this."

Meryl frowned in confusion as it took a few moments for her thoughts to clear. Of course, the mission...

"I have to. Mei Ling can't do this alone!"

"It was a risky idea to begin with, we can disappear down the fire escape and take care of this another time."

Meryl was already shaking her head before Snake had finished speaking. "No. It's too late. He'll be here any moment!"

"I've got Otacon watching surveillance for his car. He's not even in the hotel yet, come on," he grabbed her hand, "Mei Ling's planting the camera's. We can just monitor him a little longer until we - _stop shaking your head!_"

Still feeling a little wobbly, but strangely clear headed, Meryl smiled weakly. "We've been waiting months for a chance like this. Half an hour, and it'll be over. Don't worry, you know I can look after myself."

"And what if you almost faint again Meryl?" Snake bit, his hand tightening around hers.

"That was... just this damn top. I can barely move in it! I'll have Mei Ling re-tie it a little looser. Now get gone!" she shooed.

Snake didn't move. "What about... you know, the psychotherapy stuff. That won't cause a..." he gestured feebly at her trembling hands.

Meryl shifted uncomfortably against the sink, feeling it's cold ridge against her legs. "It's not like we're going to _do_ anything!" she told him, repeating Mei Ling's earlier words. "It'll be easy. Mei Ling can distract him while I search through his belongings for anything suspicious. If anything goes wrong, all we have to do is scream real loud and you'll break in and pull a Bond on us." She smiled overly brightly as Snake rolled his eyes.

"And if he's armed?"

"You forget, I've been able to take down a grown man since I was fourteen! Never in _heels_ I have to admit..."

His eyes quickly darkened with something other then concern or annoyance. He looked suddenly... predatory.

Meryl's smile faltered as his free hand came up brush her hair back into place.

"If he so much as touches you..." he began, his voice so quiet it was barely more then a whisper, "I swear I'll-"

Just what he'd do, Meryl didn't find out. His mouth was suddenly very busy fighting the fruit flavoured lips that had suddenly attacked him. She wasn't entirely sure what had come over her as she wrapped both arms tightly around his neck and wound her body with his. Rough hands ran the length of her body, from neck to thigh, as their mouths worked together fiercely. The heat from before had suddenly risen up within her like a river breaking through a dam. She'd felt it surging in the past but always fought it back down, too afraid to act on it, too unsure of what it might mean.

The only light-headedness Meryl felt now was surprisingly pleasant. She thought she felt the world topple once more, only to realise she was simply being picked up and perched on the edge of the sink while hands pulled at the loose corset ties...

"A-hem!"

They froze like deer caught in headlights, eyes snapping open while their lips remained attached to see Mei Ling standing in the doorway with a hand on her hip, looking altogether too amused for Meryl's liking...

"Otacon's just given us a heads up. He's here. We've got about five minutes..." she wandered into the room as Meryl sheepishly hopped down from the sink. Snake was turning in the opposite direction of them both, trying to subtly re-arrange his trousers...

"Damn," Mei Ling sighed, "I'm going to have to re-apply some of your make-up. When I said help her Snake I didn't mean..." she reached around Meryl's shoulders and fingered the threads he'd pulled loose, ignoring Meryl as she blushed bright red.

"I guess I'd better be..." Snake began lamely, edging his way past the girls. Mei Ling turned away with smirk as Meryl and he exchanged a look they'd never really shared before. Not with so much intensity... and promise.

Then he was gone, and yet Meryl could still feel his hands burning on her body. She turned to Mei Ling with a dopey smile, who returned it with a laugh. "That good huh?"

Meryl nodded, her hand coming up touch her throbbing lips. She felt the slick gloss smeared around her mouth and tried to hastily rub it away, a little embarrassed. Mei Ling skilfully made a few touch ups and quickly re-tied Meryl's corset, a strange sort of smile on her lips. "I'll admit I didn't expect you two to start impersonating bunnies right here," she giggled, "though I wouldn't have been able to help myself either!"

Meryl blushed, "I don't know what happened to tell you the truth. One minute I was almost passing out, the next-"

The sound of a key turning in a lock made them both jump. A voice could be heard in the room next door.

"That's him," Mei Ling said sharply, "Are you ready?"

Meryl blinked at her reflection, at the wide eyes and flushed skin across her cheeks and breasts. Her heart was thumping in a whole new way, a mix of adrenaline and daring now swirling with the nerves.

* * *

Daniel Reeves was a man who worked hard. And as the saying went, a man who worked hard needed to party harder. At first he'd visited the usual dark, smoke-filled clubs in the seedier parts of town, but as a man worked his way up the career ladder his tastes turned to finer things. He needed an opportunity to relax, to let loose after a stressful week. Hitting bars never guaranteed a decent lay – which was why a friend had slid him a 'business card' one night with a wink and a knowing smile; "You can never go wrong with paid company," he'd said.

He'd been right. Daniel's first experience had been rushed and unsatisfying – images of himself being interrupted by police in a shady motel meant he hadn't been able to savour his time. So he'd returned to the clubs and the bars and tried to make do with hitting up the local talent. Until, that is, he realised his renewed frustration and boredom would never be slaked by chatting up drunken singles. In fact, it was _caused_ by it.

It didn't take long for him to dig up the old card and try again, this time somewhere classy where no one would suspect the vixen hanging off his arm was a hundred dollar an hour whore.

His second experience made these meetings his drug, he was hooked. He didn't have to learn the girls names, didn't have to care if their satisfaction was real or fake; they were _paid_ to pleasure _him. _After an allotted time he'd slide them a brown envelope and simply leave. No awkward goodbyes, no giving out fake names or numbers. It was a perfect arrangement.

Therefore, it was with confidence and slight restlessness that he entered the hotel room, kicking of his shoes and pulling his tie loose. Behind him his bodyguards paused either side of the main door.

"I thought I had some company lined up for tonight?" he called out.

The door to the bathroom opened slowly, and a young woman – barely more then a girl – appeared before him. "You weren't mistaken," she smiled.

Daniel grinned, motioning over his shoulder for his guards to leave. They'd only be outside the door; and it wasn't like one little hooker would cause him any trouble, he thought, feeling the gun inside his jacket press against his side.

The woman stepped into the room, her long gown shimmering in the light. "Let me introduce you to my friend."

"Friend?" Daniel asked with a quirk of his brow, just as another red-headed girl entered the room. His smile broadened as he took in the slight quiver of her lips, the breathless flush in her cheeks. "I didn't book two girls..."

She pouted at him, "It's a free offer, since you've been such a loyal client..."

Daniel paused for a moment, scratching at his chin. He was usually informed of any last minute changes...

He looked at the free girl closely and noticed she didn't seem to hold herself as confidently as the other, but he didn't mind. It was the inexperienced ones he liked, they could be so easily pushed into all sorts of delightful things...

The one in black sauntered towards him, bringing one hand up rest on his shoulder. "Why don't you take a seat?" she said softly, "And let us help you relax."

He didn't need telling twice. No one could resist a 'buy one get one free' deal anyway.

* * *

Meryl watched in disquieted awe as Mei Ling strode up to this man – Daniel, as Otacon had told them - and led him to the plush, cream sofa. Without any hesitation she settled herself onto his lap with a girlish giggle. With his eyes glues to her exposed middle and long legs, Daniel didn't notice Meryl's hesitation at first.

Meryl quickly looked around the room, feeling distressed when she noticed he hadn't brought any belongings with him. Just out of curiosity she tried to find the cameras Mei Ling had planted, which only made her think about the fact that Snake and Otacon were next door watching their every move right at that moment. It did little to settle the nervous swirl of her stomach.

Meryl started when she realised she was being spoken to. Mei Ling shot her a hard look before nestling closer to the man's side. "She's a little new to all this," she told him apologetically.

He smiled, "I don't mind. I like 'em shy."

In any other situation Meryl would have been revolted and retaliated to that twisted grin with a knee to his groin, or at least by flipping him off. Now, she smiled as sweetly as she could and moved to take the hand he suddenly offered her. Slipping her fingers into his, she felt herself tremble. His hands we smooth and cold, nothing like what Snake's had felt like. Her shudder went unnoticed however, as he quickly jerked her forward so she fell in a pile onto them both.

Hating herself for it, she let herself go limp as he easily moved her onto his other leg. The smile on her face made her jaw ache with the force she was using to keep it there.

"Now what?" she mouthed to Mei Ling over his head.

They'd _had_ a back-up plan; which involved knocking him unconscious and running like hell. Why they couldn't just do that anyway, Meryl couldn't fathom as his slightly clammy hand felt its way up her thigh.

She couldn't help but wonder what Snake thought of all this.

"So, are we taking it in turn ladies or would you prefer all at once! Can't say I've done it before, but I think we'll manage."

Mei Ling pressed one perfectly manicured finger to her lips, pouting slightly. "I don't like to share..." she sulked.

"That makes you greedy," Daniel smirked, suddenly reaching round to grab her behind, "Bad girl!"

"_Oh dear God_." Meryl cringed inwardly, wondering how Mei Ling could keep a straight face.

She had to work to keep herself from cracking up when Daniel turned to face her, looking at her hungrily. "You wait here," he told her, "Don't worry sweetheart. I won't forget you. I wouldn't try going anywhere either..." his eyes looked to the door and back.

Meryl suddenly panicked. Of course, there were people outside waiting for him. That was...

Kind of sleazy.

And it threw one major spanner into the works. Just how were they going to search him and leave without actually... doing what he was expecting? They couldn't just walk out and leave him unconscious in the room _now_.

Daniel pulled off his jacket and slung it over Meryl's lap.

"Watch this for me. There's a tip in it for you if you're good!" he laughed.

Mei Ling giggled along with him, seemingly happy enough to be led to the bedroom. Meryl was left alone with a mantra of, "_Oh shit, oh shit_," running through her head. Her hands clenched around his jacket as she tried to figure out what she should do-

Something hard pressed into the palm of her hand.

She all but tore the pocket from his jacket as she felt around for what she hoped was what they were after...

"Bingo!" she cheered to herself, holding up the disk to make sure Snake and Otacon would see it from wherever the camera was located.

But her joy was only short-lived as she remembered the situation she was in.

Problem number one: dealing with Daniel before Mei Ling had to do anything... indecent.

At least, more indecent then prancing around half naked.

Problem two: getting out without causing a scene - which would be difficult considering the people outside. Being dressed in nearly nothing and heels, and without a weapon, she wasn't exactly in the position to take on a group of full-grown men without getting her bare arse kicked.

And where could she hide the disc...? It wasn't like there were pockets in her knickers!

Her heart jumped into her throat when she heard a shriek come from the bedroom. It was followed by loud giggles, however. So Meryl assumed Mei Ling wasn't in too much trouble just yet. Or she was simply a great actress. Meryl would have to mention later that her companion look into the espionage game.

She stood up and made a quick circle of the room. Shadow Moses felt easy in comparison to this. Or perhaps her memory of the incident was failing her. She had been _shot_ after all.

"Hey, erm... red haired girl!"

Daniel's voice was muffled by the closed door, but Meryl was still able to hear his uneven footsteps approach. Thinking quick, she breathed in and forced the disc down the front of her corset; thankful that Mei Ling had left it a little loose this time.

The door swung open to reveal Daniel, red-cheeked and dishevelled, grinning at her like a predator.

"Come here." he demanded.

Meryl hesitated before spotting Mei Ling just a few steps behind him, motioning for her to comply. She didn't look traumatised or in need of rescue... in fact, she looked a little amused.

Fixing a smile on her face, Meryl did as she was told. The closer she got the more she realised that Daniel looked a little odd. Kind of... drunk.

But that wasn't possible. He'd only been in the room a few minutes and had seemed completely sober before-

Before being in a room with Mei Ling and an open bottle of cheap champagne – of which only one glass had been drunk.

She blinked a few times, shooting a look to her partner who was obviously trying not to giggle as Daniel fell onto the bed in a messy sprawl.

"What did you give him?" Meryl hissed under her breath.

Mei Ling smiled, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. "Just a little something to knock him out. He'll be fine... tomorrow."

The two of them watched the man on the bed try to turn himself over onto his back, only to roll clear off the bed and begin giggling incessantly, trying not to burst into laughter themselves.

"Why didn't you tell me you spiked the booze?" Meryl asked, "I could've drunk some by accident!"

Mei Ling shrugged, "It was a last minute thing – he was so _grabby_!"

"What do we do now? If we leave him like this his goons outside will find him and realise we've had him over!"

Mei Ling paused for a moment, frowning as Meryl pointed out the flaw in her plan. They hadn't taken guards into account when they'd prepared for this...

Daniel, still laughing at nothing, had taken to trying to pull himself back onto the bed. His hand fisted in the lace falling around the four-poster bed as he heaved, only to land heavily on his backside as it ripped and fell away under his weight.

Meryl snapped her fingers, a brilliant smile spreading over her face. "I have an idea! Get him on the bed!"

Mei Ling followed her instructions after Meryl ignored the questioning quirk of her eyebrow. She moved to stand beside Daniel before gripping him beneath the arms and heaving him towards the bed. His top half fell on, but his legs remained draped across the carpet as a loud snore filled the room. She looked to Meryl for help, frowning questioningly as she watched her ripping a few more pieces of lace from the bed.

"Lay him down and put out his arms up beside the banisters."

"Why – _ooooh_!"

Mei Ling snorted, suddenly feeling much more enthusiastic about their new plan. This time Meryl helped to throw his legs onto the bed and rolled him over, wrapping her make-shift binds around his wrists before tying them securely to the banisters. Mei Ling was watching with bright amusement as Meryl worked.

"You know, I don't feel bad about this at all. He was a sleaze-bag. The things he said to me were disgusting!"

"You seemed to handle it pretty well," Meryl pointed out.

"I've dealt with worse I suppose. I seem to attract dirty old men for some reason..."

"Dirty old men finding hot Asian chicks attractive? That's shocking!" Meryl laughed.

Mei Ling rolled her eyes, "That old stereotype. I may as well start using it to my advantage... after Moses my career's been dead in the water."

Checking her work, Meryl looked up at the woman she'd only known a few weeks and smiled. "You know, you could join us. Permanently. You really pulled through tonight... I wouldn't have been to be handle this..." she looked at Daniel's sleeping body pointedly.

"Honestly," Mei Ling replied, a little hushed, "I was terrified! I only managed to do this on adrenaline... and knowing Snake's on the other side of the wall in case it all went wrong. There's one older man I wouldn't mind groping _me_ in a bathroom!" she winked.

Meryl felt her face flush as the memory of their earlier tryst came flooding back, then she remembered-

"Hey, erm, where did you put the camera's?"

"Oh!" Mei Ling gasped, "I forgot about them!" she turned to the door behind them, her eyes landing on the closet beside it. Meryl could just make out a tiny glint reflecting the rooms light between the doors. She gave a wave. "What the hell must they think we're up to?!"

"As long as this doesn't turn up on youtube I'm happy!" Mei Ling exclaimed, "Now, what do we do about his guards? They're going to find him like this – which would be funny to see, but we really need to be elsewhere when it happens!"

Meryl nodded. "First, let's remove the cameras. I've got what we came here for - it was in his jacket. Then we can-"

_Tap, tap, tap._

"What the-"

Both girls spun on the spot, searching the room for the strange noise that seemed to be coming from the window. They shared a bemused glance as the same noise came from behind the drawn curtains again, only more impatient this time.

"_Come on, let me in. It's bloody freezing out here!_"

"Snake?" they both chorused, Meryl rushing forward to pull the curtains back.

She blinked at the face looking at her through the glass. Perched on the small ledge running the length of the outside wall was Snake, his hair blowing wildly in the wind. "_Well_?" he snapped.

Meryl unlocked the window, "Hold on..." she called as she struggled with the latch.

"Well I'm not going to let go fifteen floors up am I?" he retorted.

Sliding the window up, Meryl reached out to help him climb through as she tried not imagine the mess he'd make on the road below if he fell. He must have shimmied his way across the ledge from his and Otacon's room; that was almost twenty feet! With no harness!

"You're insane!" she breathed, keeping her hands tightly wound in his shirt as if he might fall back through even with his feet firmly on the bedroom floor.

"I've been told that before," Snake shrugged. "Now we need to leave. He only has this room for a few hours tonight so we need to be gone before-"

"We know," Meryl cut in, "But how can we pass the guards outside? They'll come in to check on Pervy McSleazy over there and raise the alarm."

"I doubt that. A guy like him would know to act with some discretion. I doubt he'd want anyone to know about his... regular use of this room."

"_This_ room?" Mei Ling suddenly gasped, sounding like she might be sick. Her eyes fell on the bed she'd been sprawling across not ten minutes ago, praying this hotel had regular (and thorough) cleaning.

Snake's eyes had shifted from Mei Ling to the bed and widened when he saw Daniel tied there, drool running from his mouth as he slept. "So _that's_ what he's into..." he mumbled.

Meryl shook her head, "Nope. We did that after Mei Ling drugged him."

Snake choked on his own oxygen at that. "_What_? Why?"

"We thought it'd be funny." Meryl replied, the sarcasm clear in her voice.

"Well, it kind of was." Mei Ling added, "He's not going to be going anywhere for a while. Didn't you see it on the camera's?"

"I was a little busy scaling a building at the time," he reminded her. "Otacon and I have been trying to figure out what to do since dumb and dumber outside don't seem to want to leave."

"Did you come up with anything? Because I don't think we could climb across the wall dressed like _this_." Meryl pointed out, gesturing at their outfits.

Snake didn't reply. His brow furrowed and eyes darkened into what Meryl knew well to be his brooding expression when a sudden idea began creeping into her head.

"I think we should undress him..." she mused out-loud, earning startled looks from both people in the room.

"One prank's far enough." Snake told her with a frown.

"Not as a _joke_. But to make it seem authentic... Mei Ling and I can tell his guards he fell asleep after... you know... and doesn't want to be woken until his times up. That gives us some time to disappear before they realise we've pulled a fast one."

They both looked at her speculatively.

"What if they don't believe you?" Snake asked.

"We run. Unless you brought a gun – do you have guns?"

He pulled back his jacket to reveal two silenced weapons holstered at his side. Meryl reached out to pull one free.

"Excellent," she smiled, suddenly feeling a lot more sure of herself with the heavy feel of it in her hand, "Mei Ling and I have coats, so I can hide this just in case."

Snake exhaled slowly, thinking her plan over. Mei Ling, however, rose her hand and gave a small wave to gain Meryl's attention.

"Or..." she began a little sheepishly, "I lure them both in, you and Snake hide behind the door and shoot you them when they enter. Those are M9's right?" she added, not wanting to be responsible for any bloodshed, "Otacon's already set to erase the CCTV footage from the hotel, so no one will be able to identify us when they get found in the morning, if they even want to report this."

Both Snake and Meryl shared a long look.

"Sounds better then my idea," Meryl admitted with a shrug. "I'm not giving you back the gun though."

"Makes tying him to the bed seem a little pointless." Snake commented.

Meryl shrugged, her lips twitching up into a devious smirk. "Made us laugh. Besides, he'll face some funny questions in the morning."

"Right," Snake said, suddenly business-like as he pulled the remaining gun from its holster, "Meryl take the right side, I'll stay behind the door. Mei Ling-"

"I'll lure them inside, just don't shoot _me_!"

She hurried from the room, dimming the lights as she went. Meryl couldn't see Snake as he disappeared behind the door but she could still seem to sense the tension in him.

"Come quick!" they heard Mei Ling cry, sounding panicked, "Follow me, in the bedroom, there's been a... thing..."

Meryl rolled her eyes – perhaps Mei Ling's acting abilities weren't all that great.

The sound of heels on carpet drew closer. Mei Ling dashed past the doorway as two heavy looking men followed her inside, freezing when they saw their boss snoring body on the bed.

"What the-"

"Oof!"

They didn't even have time to turn as two darts hit their mark, knocking them unconscious.

There was silence in the room as all three of them paused, sharing a long look before simultaneously grabbing for more material to rip into bindings. By the time they were done,_ no one_ would want to bring attention to this little incident. Snake was sure it'd be worth a few laughs once they'd gotten back to their safe-house, but first things first: leave the building undetected.

They each set to work, either dismantling the camera's or wiping the place down for prints. Mei Ling grabbed the bottle of champagne before both girls pulled on floor-length coats, leaving them decent enough to be seen in public. Meryl vaguely wondered where her self-conciousness had gone before shrugging of her thoughts. Walking through the hotel lobby in just her underwear and coat was... freeing. She had to work to suppress a large smile every time Snake glanced her at questioningly. She didn't want to have to tell him she might be discovering a new found calling as a nudist.

The four of them had split into couples, Mei Ling and Otacon were travelling in his car while Snake and Meryl took a cab. It wasn't until they'd pulled away and the hotel disappeared from view that Meryl felt herself relax against the seat, watching the city street lights slowly pass by.

"You all right?" Snake asked her, gaining her attention by placing his hand over hers. It just so happened that her hand had been resting at the top of her thigh, and as he curled his fingers into hers, Snake felt the smooth line of her stockings under the coat. Meryl turned from the window and smiled.

"I think I'm on some kind of high..." she admitted sheepishly.

The corner of Snake's mouth twitched tellingly, "Dodging mines, high speed car chases... and stripping. You make an interesting resume, you know."

"It's not stripping if you don't take anything off." she pointed out, checking to make sure the small slot between themselves and the driver was firmly closed.

Snake brought her hand up to his mouth, looking very interested in the way her coat slid away to reveal her slim wrist. He kissed it once, gently, before smiling against her skin. "I can change that."


End file.
